1. Having good days is not the solution! So many of us with depression are told “just do things that make you happy and you will feel happy”. While that can certainly help, what I want you to move towards is having JUST ok moments. When you constantly strive for “I need to be happy doing this” and fail, it can actually make you feel worse. If instead, you chose, I may feel “eh” doing this, that actually allows yourself to feel something different than the depression you are currently feeling. Being successful in “eh” can actually bring you more joy in the activity you’re engaging in. Wouldn’t you rather be successful at hey, I feel less awful then I tried this and it used to make me feel happy, and now It didn’t, so I feel worse.
2. Treating your depression can make you feel guilty: Depression and guilt often go hand in hand. Sometimes its guilt about spending money or time to get help because you should be able to help yourself through this right? (The answer is no, sometimes you DO need help). Or so many of my clients when they start to feel relief from their depression feel guilty about not wanting their depression to go away. Depression DOES have its benefits and for some it does bring a level of comfort. What does depression often want you to do? Relax, lay in bed, watch Netflix, this level of comfort can be hard to let go of if the expectation of you feeling better is that you have to function at 110% and you have to let go of things that can make you feel comfortable. The trick: you learn to do both: rest AND function in the way you need to.
3. Treating it doesn’t make it go away completely: Sometimes, if you have depression or any type of mental health disorder it just doesn’t go away. HOWEVER, with the right treatment (therapy, meds, lifestyle changes, connecting with your values) you can live a generally content, even dare I say, happy life!
4. People do not know how to respond to it. Yes, most people don't know how to respond to depression due to lack of education and stigma. We all (even without mental health concerns) have gotten awful advice from family or friends. No, you do not need to just deal with it, or do something that makes you happy, or just ignore it. The best advice I often give my clients is provide a little coaching to your support system, even just saying I don’t want you to fix this, I just need you to be here in my pain right now- might give you the actual support you need.
5. Life doesn't stop when you're depressed. Having depression does not make time stand still. Instead, it can actually make you feel like you are falling behind even faster. My advice, do 1 baby step towards the things you really want to do. Need to load the dishwasher? Do a dish. Want to move your body? Walk a lap in your room. The more you engaging in small steps towards living the more you will get closer to actually living!
Having depression can have both bad and good characteristics. Learning how to live well with your depression is something Dr. Amanda Comstock can help you achieve. Contact Dr. Amanda Comstock today to schedule your appointment! Unwaveringcounseling@gmail.com